Things I’m Afraid to Tell You
Last year, a simple post by Jess Lively went viral (as in reached Oprah’s doorstep viral). Things I’m Afraid to Tell You. The title said it all.
We all have those ‘things’ we keep under wraps. As bloggers we claim to be ‘warts and all’ but that’s rarely the case.
So although I’m a year and a half late to the party, with our new site I want you to get to know me more.
Pretty Fluffy is not about me being the perfect dog owner. It’s about discovering and enjoying our lives as dog owners. It’s about learning, trying to be the best dog owners we can be, and sharing with each other.
So today I wanted to share with you, the things I’m afraid to tell you.
I’m terrified of life without Soda. Soda is currently 12. On January 15, 2014 she will be 13 years old. In Border Collie terms, she’s no spring chicken, but for me it seems like she just arrived yesterday.
I can’t even think about the idea of her not being in my life without bursting into tears. It’s actually come to a point that the idea that Soda won’t always be a part of my life haunts me daily. I’ll be patting her happily or playing fetch in the backyard and then like a gust of chilly air, I’m reminded that things will not always be this way.
It makes me hug her that bit tighter, have an extra sleep in with her at my feet, throw the Kong just one more time…because I know there’ll be a day where I’ll give anything to be able to do it again.
I wonder if I’ll love my kids as much as I love Soda. I’m 33. I’m well in the heart of baby territory right now. Lots of my friends have the babies, and many are looking at me wondering when I’ll have the babies.
Trouble is I’ve always been the person who’s loved puppies more than kids. So many people say when you have a child the connection is instantaneous, but I worry – what if I don’t have that gene? I can’t trade my baby in for a Spoodle.
My husband sees it in a different way. He thinks my connection with Soda shows just how maternal I am.
I don’t think I’m a COOL blogger. I listen to show tunes and Simon & Garfunkel, I watch Hart of Dixie and True Blood, I don’t meditate or drink green smoothies, I’d prefer to watch animal videos on YouTube rather than go to an art exhibition…
Don’t get me wrong, I love fashion, cinema, shopping, beauty, and design – but at heart I’m a girl who’s favourite place to be is on the couch with my dog watching Mad Men.
When I go to blogging conferences (ok I went to one) or catch ups I feel like someone’s going to tap me on the shoulder and say “Excuse me Miss, the non-cool bloggers room is this way.”
I talk to Soda ALL THE TIME. (She never talks back). Just to solidify my reputation as a crazy dog lady, whenever I get home from work I’ll ask Soda how her day has been. When we go for a walk I’ll ask her if she had fun. When she catches the Kong I’ll clap and say it’s time for her lap of honour.
The funny thing is, I secretly think although she physically can’t talk back, her face and body language answers me.
She’ll never be ‘just a dog’ to me and I know a lot of people struggle to understand that. And to be honest – I feel sorry for those people. They’re missing out on one of the strongest, most uplifting connections they can have in life.
Do you have things you’re afraid to tell?